No you’re not an empath, or a tyrant, or toxic … you are a human!
I have just read yet another article with someone professing to be an “empath” and how drained and depleted they become from having to deal with “inauthentic & fake people” all day.
People are, well… just people. We all have attractive and unattractive qualities & traits, and I am sure you have noticed that certain people either bring out the best in you, or the worst. It’s the blend that creates the potion. The tyrant needs a victim and the victim needs a tyrant. Both have an equally negative effect on each other – it’s just one is overtly aggressive and the other covertly aggressive. Isn’t it more the blend of 2 people that perhaps are not good together? Of course we have extremes of behavior in some people, and sociopathic/psychopathic disorders are very real but the mainstream person has many different ways of behaving, and it is the mix of certain temperaments, backgrounds, perceptions etc that makes us act differently with Aunt Martha than we would with cousin David.
So the next time you go to label another person as “toxic” or “caustic”, or whatever other harsh word we may choose to use to describe them, just remember that a person is just that … with all of their frailties, insecurities, and sensitivities. Just like you and me they bring their history, their journey, and their story with them. We all have those days where we have deep compassion & sensitivity for those around us. But, we also have those days where we don’t give a toss about anyone or anything! We all love that warm glow of being a good, kind human, and when we’re in the latter, most of us long for people to understand what we’re going through. Rather than judge each other, let’s aim to understand why we all behave the way we do and more importantly, appreciate that we’re never just one side.
Remember, people are like any other combination – sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Think oil and water – they will not mix. And then think oil and balsamic vinegar – neither do they, but yum! The crazy is when you try to force the water to mix well with the oil… sometimes the most difficult, yet sensible choice is to just move on, and be grateful that you had the experience and all the wisdom that came with that association.